When a Small Inconvenience Feels Like Too Much
You know that moment—you’re cruising along, maybe a little off but nothing unusual. You’ve got your to-do list in mind, maybe a podcast or music going, and then it happens: you come up behind someone driving 10 under on a two-lane, non-passing road.
And suddenly, you want to rage cry. Or just cry. Or just rage.
And for a split second you think: What just happened? Why am I reacting this way? Maybe you’ve had that moment too… or maybe that’s just me. But my guess is, if you’re human—and especially if you’re a high-achiever—you’ve been there.
It’s not really about the slow driver. It’s about the quiet build-up in your nervous system—the small and large stresses that stack until one minor thing becomes the tipping point.
Why High Achievers Break Down at the Small Stuff
For high achievers, these moments can feel especially jarring. You’re used to performing under pressure, keeping things together, being the one who others rely on. So when something seemingly insignificant sends you over the edge, it can feel confusing—or even like failure.
But here’s what’s really happening:
Stress Stacks
Your nervous system doesn’t weigh stressors the way your rational mind does. Big deadline or slow driver—your body just registers load. And that load piles up until it spills over.
Words Aren’t Always Accessible
When your nervous system is in survival mode, finding the “right” words or explaining why you’re not fine might be impossible. And that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an emotional PowerPoint.
It’s Not Pathology, It’s Humanity
These cracks don’t mean you’re broken or weak. They don’t require a diagnosis to matter. They’re just humanness showing through—and they’re invitations to pay attention.
Reframing the “Not Fine” Moment
Instead of judging yourself for breaking down in the car, or in the grocery store, or in your office, try this:
- Acknowledge it. “Wow, I’m really at my limit right now.”
- Name it. Call it what it is—a stress response, not a personal failure.
- Reorient. Ask: What’s one small thing I can do right now to care for myself? Maybe that’s taking a breath, loosening your grip on the wheel, or noticing your feet on the ground.
These moments don’t have to be proof that you’re not capable. They can be signals—your body’s way of saying, Hey, I need something different.
How Therapy Can Help You Catch It Sooner
The goal isn’t to erase these moments but to notice them earlier and respond with more compassion. In therapy, especially with brain-body approaches like EMDR, Brainspotting, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we can work together to:
- Teach your nervous system how to settle even under stress.
- Recognize your early warning signs before you hit the breaking point.
- Build tools for calming and grounding that don’t rely on overexplaining—to yourself or anyone else.
You Don’t Have to Be “Fine” All the Time
Here’s the truth: being “not fine” doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. And sometimes, the most powerful choice you can make is to honor that humanity without apology.
If you’ve found yourself crying in the car over someone else’s speedometer—or breaking down over something that “shouldn’t” matter—please know you’re not alone. And you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it.
Call to Action
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to find healthier ways to navigate these “not fine” moments, I’d love to help. I work with high-achieving adults across Utah (both in-person in Ogden and via teletherapy) to create space for relief, healing, and reconnection.
Reach out today, and let’s start building a way forward where you don’t have to carry it all alone.
