The Morning in the Ocean
Have you ever had a moment where you feel so stuck? Or like you are bracing and don’t know whether to move forward, stay still, or even move backwards?
It can be such an interesting place. A place of uncertainty, and it can also be a place of expansion, depending on how you are observing and noticing it.
I had a moment like this in the ocean, while surfing.
I kept observing a few things in my mind and body. And let me be clear, when I say surfing, I am speaking about being a beginner in the white water.
Anyway, back to my thoughts and what was happening in my body. I was observing the power of the ocean, the waves, the calm, the unknown, the patience, the force, the going with and allowing, the slowing down, the breathing, the bracing, and the holding.
At times, it can feel counterintuitive. At times, you want to go with the current only to realize it’s not going to take you where you want to go, so you need to brace, hold steady, and anchor in, and other times you do want to go with the current… It’s the safest decision.
The Rythym of Life
So, while I was out there, I had many different thoughts about the energy of life and the life force of staying the same, blending in, learning when to ride, when to take action, when to brace, when to breathe, and when to call it a day.
I was also reminded of a passage that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos spoke on in his last stockholder meeting as CEO. And whether you love him or hate him, it was profound. He spoke on the ordinary and how hard it is to fight to be extra, to go against the grain, and that the world, nature, wants to force you into comfort.
“This is my last annual shareholder letter as the CEO of Amazon, and I have one last thing of utmost importance I feel compelled to teach. I hope all Amazonians take it to heart.
Here is a passage from Richard Dawkins’ (extraordinary) book The Blind Watchmaker. It’s about a basic fact of biology.
“Staving off death is a thing that you have to work at. Left to itself – and that is what it is when it dies – the body tends to revert to a state of equilibrium with its environment. If you measure some quantity such as the temperature, the acidity, the water content or the electrical potential in a living body, you will typically find that it is markedly different from the corresponding measure in the surroundings. Our bodies, for instance, are usually hotter than our surroundings, and in cold climates they have to work hard to maintain the differential.
When we die the work stops, the temperature differential starts to disappear, and we end up the same temperature as our surroundings.” (The passage from the book reads longer in the letter, and I shortened it to end here.)
While the passage is not intended as a metaphor, it’s nevertheless a fantastic one, and very relevant to Amazon. I would argue that it’s relevant to all companies and all institutions and to each of our individual lives too.
In what ways does the world pull at you in an attempt to make you normal?
How much work does it take to maintain your distinctiveness?
To keep alive the thing or things that make you special?”
Of course, the book also points out that from an evolutionary standpoint, one universal constant in the struggle to stay alive is that it always and eventually ends exactly the same way.
Bezos ends his letter with this message: “The world will always try to make Amazon more typical – to bring us into equilibrium with our environment. It will take continuous effort, but we can and must be better than that.”
I kept thinking about that letter this morning: that if in this moment I just let this current take me, I would get swept down the beach or worse, swallowed up by the ocean. It’s an uncomfortable feeling when you know that you need to brace, hold steady, and push ahead.
The ocean was powerful this morning and wanted to drag me, making it harder in the end because where I would go would be murky and dark, and the waves were every which way.
By bracing in this moment, fighting against the current, once passed and the ocean calmed, I was able to move forward, catching a few good waves, before having to brace all over again.
The ebb and flow of this became apparent after about 30 minutes of surfing. The movement forward, the brace, and passing, and the patience, the joy and calm of catching a wave, and then again the movement, the brace, and passing, the patience, the joy and calm.
Where in your life are you allowing the current to take you somewhere you never meant to go?
Can you recall a time when slowing down felt riskier than pushing forward — yet ended up giving you exactly what you needed? Or when pushing forward, even with the unknown, was exactly the thing needed?
Observing and Attuning: The Power of Noticing
One thing I noticed while standing in the water that morning was how essential it was to observe. To pay attention. If it wasn’t for me noticing and observing the ocean, attuning to the ebb and flow of it, and being mindful, I could have easily got pulled somewhere that wouldn’t be helpful or safe. Observing and being mindful can help unlock the beauty of life. It gets you out of automoticity and into living.
By observing, by tuning into those subtle shifts, I wasn’t just reacting. I was choosing. That choice made all the difference.
Observation is essential — but it’s not meant to replace action. It’s about gathering enough clarity to move, not waiting for perfect conditions. The ocean never stops moving, and neither does life. At some point, you have to paddle.
Being extra, loud, bold, quiet, steady, distinctive and going against what others want you to do might be your ticket to the joy and calm.
And if the decision feels too big? One small, imperfect decision can create momentum. You don’t have to solve everything today. You just need to shift the current slightly.
There’s no perfect formula for when to brace and when to move. It’s about building trust with yourself over time, tuning into when tension feels productive versus when it’s just keeping you stuck.
Here are some gentle questions to sit with:
- What feels true in my body right now — am I bracing, moving, or drifting?
- Am I observing with presence, or am I stuck over-analyzing?
- What is one small decision I can make today that doesn’t have to be permanent?
- Where am I waiting for perfect conditions instead of choosing a next step?
These aren’t questions with instant answers. Let them settle. Let them guide you back into attunement with yourself.
Reflective moment: If you paused to truly observe today, what quiet truth might you hear?
Why It Matters: The Pull Toward Comfort
I often see this with clients. They know where they want to be — in the joy and calm and their own distinctiveness. But they are stuck, not knowing if they should go with the current or brace and hold until the force of the moment passes so they can move forward.
Sometimes, staying stuck, going with the familiar, feels far safer than the unknown of the bracing. I hear thoughts like “what if things don’t get better,” “what if they get worse,” “what if nothing changes?” I often have my own questions in my mind, like, “Well, you are slowly dying by doing nothing?” “How much longer can you really stay stuck? You are already suffering?” “Is this really the life that you want?” The hurdle to outride the storm can feel daunting, but if they were just to allow and move, they’d find that’s a better, more satisfying route.
Moving Forward After Feeling Lost
One thing I always like to discuss with clients is becoming more decisive. When we become decisive and actually make a decision, the mind and body can begin to calm, because the combating nature of two competing parts in the nervous system will always wreak havoc long-term and can keep us stuck. But once a decision is made, which doesn’t necessarily need to be the “right” decision, it allows for movement.
When I brace in the ocean, that’s a decision. I read the waves, I saw the current, I braced, waited patiently, it passed, and I was able to catch a wave. Oh, the joy. That’s a decision.
Gentle Invitation or Call to Action: Make Your One Small Decision
If you ever find yourself unsure and feeling stuck, make a decision. You can always pivot, you can always get out, you can always go back in, but a decision needs to be made in order to create movement.
Take a quiet moment today and name just one decision that’s been waiting in you. Write it down. Speak it aloud. Let your system feel the steadiness that comes from choosing.
If you liked this article and want to go deeper with this kind of work, here are a few ways I can support you:
Option One: Work intensively to stop feeling stuck today in a supportive high touch 1:1 environment.
Option Two: Work in weekly therapy to move forward after feeling lost.
Or you can read more about me to see if I’d be a good fit.
Either way: keep moving. In your own rhythm. In your own time.
