The Unsexy Truth About Self-Care and Healing
I’ve been reflecting on the subject of self-care and healing lately—the gritty, unpolished reality of what it actually takes to feel better and make lasting changes. Through my own journey, countless client stories, and witnessing the experiences of people close to me, I’ve learned one undeniable truth:
Getting better—truly better—is not sexy.
It’s not a quick fix or a glamorous transformation. It’s years of consistent, steady effort. Sometimes it’s boring. Sometimes it’s messy. Often, it’s unglamorous. There will be times when you don’t know what to do, so you pivot, try something new, or rework the plan.
Healing isn’t quick or glamorous. There is no shortcut.
When I reflect on my own journey, it’s been 20+ years of small, incremental changes—adding or subtracting one thing at a time, year after year. It didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t always clear or linear. But those small shifts compounded into real, lasting transformation.
And I see this same pattern with my clients.
For example, one client started with something as simple as walking. Just one day a week. Over time, they built up more days. Slowly but surely, the habit stuck. Months later, they began to notice subtle but powerful changes in their mood and energy.
Another client committed to saying “no” more often and deleting unnecessary commitments from their calendar—not once, but over and over again. Around the six-month mark, they started to feel the weight lift.
Here’s the thing: real self-care isn’t glamorous. It’s not bubble baths or candles—although those can be helpful in soothing your nervous system along the way. True self-care is harder and less Insta-worthy. It’s the habits you repeat consistently over time, even when they’re inconvenient, uncomfortable, or downright boring.
It’s what Present You does—sometimes reluctantly, often imperfectly—that Future You will be so grateful for.
True self-care is:
- Having the hard conversation when you’d rather avoid it.
- Saying no when you’re used to saying yes out of habit or guilt.
- Setting boundaries.
- Eating an apple when you’d rather grab a candy bar.
- Turning off your phone an hour before bed instead of doom-scrolling.
- Cleaning your house, even when you don’t feel like it.
And and and. These are the unsexy, unexciting habits that add up over time to create a life that feels lighter, more aligned, and more fulfilling.
The key is staying curious about what your version of self-care looks like. True self-care works best when it’s deeply connected to your unique needs, values, and sense of self. When you build that roadmap, it can even become playful and rewarding—not always easy, but meaningful and worth it.
So, if the process feels slow, uncomfortable, or unglamorous—take heart. That’s what real healing looks like. And you’re not alone in it.
If you’d like help building a consistency plan and a self-care tool kit that actually works for you reach out today. I’d love to support you if that feels right.
